How To Be An Asshat in 10 Easy Steps

How To Be An Asshat In TEN Easy Steps.

• 1. Run out of gas for the bazillionth time because you assume that you have enough fuel, then bitch about how you ‘forgot’ your AAA card at home. (Would it kill you to get the gas gauge fixed, especially when you KNOW it has been acting up since that time you fried the starter?)
• 2. Make sure that you whine about how you have used your AAA card sooooo many times already this year.
• 3. While the person with the AAA card is on the phone, (the phone that works just a smidge better than 2 cans and a piece of string) talk loudly and give instructions on what you think they should be saying to the AAA Dispatcher.
• 4. 5 minutes before the estimated time of arrival, tell AAA cardholder to call back and find out where tow-truck is. (Don’t forget to bitch when you find out that he has been delayed because he came upon an accident on his way to you. After all, it is POURING DOWN RAIN at the moment.) Complain about the state of the almost dead battery on the cel phone when you have forgotten yours at home for the 2nd day in a row.
• 5. Get defensive when the other person finally snaps and verbally rips you a new bung hole.
• 6. Wonder why that person just snapped and is now refusing to speak to you.
• 7. Even though you know that it is easier to leave that person alone for a while, continue to prod and make snide comments.
• 8. Act like a baby and not answer the cel phone (when the caller ID tells you that it is your Mother) by proclaiming in a pissy tone “ I don’t feel like talking. You get it.” Then sit in the driver seat pouting.
• 9. When the AAA contracted Tow truck gets to you and informs you that they don’t carry diesel fuel (and that the Dispatcher should have known that), get your underpants in a huge bunch and demand that the Roadside Service Card Carrying Member (who has managed not to shove you into the glove box in frustration) ‘bitch out AAA for wasting 2 hours’ and ‘make sure that they don’t count this as a service call!’
• 10. When all is said and done, act like nothing happened.

There. I feel much better. I am so over it.