AAAAANND they're RAAAAAcing! OR: I'm working! I really am!

Are you ready for another story with The Corporal? How about a little story from the beginning of my EMT career? PART I Within a few months of dispatching, I had the urge to learn more about EMS. As part of the training, it was mandatory to do "ride alongs" with various crews, so that I would become familiar with the hospitals, and response times. I also learned what it was like to be on the other end of the call, and how bad dispatching could hinder a response. I started tagging along often and I got the itch to become an Emergency Medical Technician. I would become a triple threat! Dispatcher, Supervisor AND EMT. I promptly enrolled in an EMT training course and was well on my way. Working for an ambulance company gave me an edge on the course, and I certified with ease. I was able to be signed off from my probation early, and quickly became a field training officer. With that background...on with the story! One of the things I enjoyed about working for a private company was the stand-by's. Meaning, we literally stood by in the event of the need for medical assistance. One of my favorite standbys was for a Horse Racing Track. We were there during training in the 'wee sma' hours' of the morning, and we were there during the actual races. At O'Dark-Thirty (4:30) every morning, we would grab a rig, and head on over to the track for training. If it was raining we would also take the suburban for it's 4WD prowess on a muddy track. We would situate ourselves against a stable wall, and hunker down until training was over. Conversation would usually consist of the following:

• It's your turn to keep watch.
• Got any more coffee?
• My ass hurts from sitting here. I'm going for a walk. Give me the radio.
• While you're back there, why don't you inventory the supplies?
• Did you remember to check the O2?
• Deuces, it's frigging cold out there! It's your turn to check in with security. WHAT? I called it!
• Heads I get to drive first, Tails you get to tech. (Heh heh..worked almost every time with the newbies.)
• Wanna' bet the Outrider is going to get thrown into that pile of crap again?

OK, here is the story on the pile of crap. The Outrider had himself a new mount. And this particular horse HATED to go by a certain stable. I think he hated the water pump/faucet thing that was there. Rather than ride the horse on the OTHER side of the road, he would continue to ride past the faucet. EVERY day, the horse would buck the Outrider into a steaming pile of hay and manure that was freshly mucked out of a stall. EVERY day, at 5am this spectacle would happen right in front of the rig. We gave up getting out and checking on him unless he failed to hold his hand up to tell us if he was alright. You would think that it would make more sense to work on this later on in the day, so you would not have to smell like horse crap first thing in the morning. To this day, I can not look at a bay colored horse without smiling to myself.

When the actual races took place, it was a whole 'nother story. The ambulance must follow the horses around the track in the event of a spill. Now, my first time on the track was with my good friend Tina. Words can not describe how I felt my first time around the track. Anyone remember the old Disney cartoon with Goofy turning into "Mr. Wheeler"? THAT was Tina. It was my job to keep an eye on the horses and jockeys , but I was too busy holding on for dear life. I had left the window down, and was praying that the latch would not fail, tossing me out onto the railing. I thought for sure, she would hit the first turn and launch us into the rail. I would become one with the lightbar as I was thrown from the rig. I highly suspect she did it on purpose, as she was in hysterics as I toddled out of the ambulance at the end of the race and literally hugged the ground. I would have kissed it as well, were it not for the horse crap a few feet away from my face. It happened to be Friday, (dollar beer and hot dog night) so of course there were off duty EMT's there to witness my break in. That was in 1996. I have yet to live this down.

Come back later for Part II- CAN YOU SMELLLLLELLLEELLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?