Just say NO to Speedos!

Also known as the:

• Banana Hammock
• Man Thong
• Tea Bag Holder
• Grocery bag
• Scary Beyond All Belief
• Goodie Sling

(Courtesy of Rodney Olsen)

• Budgie Smugglers
• Dick Dacks

(Courtesy of TrekMedic)

• Butt Floss

Just my personal opinion...There is NO one on earth who can rock a speedo swimsuit. I don't care how gorgeous the man is, I don't care how perfect the body is, and I don't care if you NEED to wear a speedo for better performance in the pool. Speedos burn my retinas. Nothing says "So not sexy!" to me more than a man wearing this affront to nature. I may be alone on this, but a man in speedos (or tightie whities for that matter) makes me laugh. I'm sorry Mr. Striptease at the male nudie bar, was that supposed to be sexy? Because I think I just busted a gut laughing. Please, keep the pants on if you are wearing one of these. Now, give me a man in boxer briefs or a kilt and I am a mess. Or, perhaps just a mechanics coveralls(jumpsuit)? Preferably one that is not so tight it sends the 'boys' up into the 'gargage'? When I am at the pool or beach, I would much rather see board shorts, or even Dickies shorts. Men in cut-offs? Another NO. They are called DAISY Dukes. Not DANNY Dukes. What brought about this rant you may ask? I have a case of insomnia and happened upon VH-1. VH-1 has a show called Striptease, where they are auditioning for the Las Vegas show "Thunder From Down Under". I was disappointed to learn that a good percentage of the cast are NOT Aussies! False advertisement I say! OK, I am done ranting. That is all. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.